Spouses at corporate events....

Yesterday, I had a post up about attending cocktail parties or events alone, where your only connection to the group is your absent spouse.  Events where you have to be polite and well-mannered, be careful what you say or do, because any gaffes might somehow have a direct connection to his next career move... Events where in an ideal world, you would rather not attend, but......

Corporate Spouses at such events fall into different classifications.

a) The super successful wife - Successful in her own right, and her husband is also a high flyer in the company. She looks awesome (super skinny, perfect skin, hair, nails, clothes). Drives a posh car. Her personal career is on track and she lets you know with each sentence starting with the simple phrase 'So because I had to take the day off at work....'

b) The new comers to town - Shy, nursing the glass of wine or cold water like it's a lifeline. Reluctant to make eye-contact. Looking like creatures about to be slaughtered. Usually leaning against a wall or somewhere in the corner. The bartender becomes a close friend, as they try to hold a conversation with him, ignoring their fellow spouses.

c) The veterans - Have been here for a while. Have attended a lot of these events. Are extremely cynical.  Sit in a corner with a glass of wine (possibly their 3rd already) and passing comments of the arriving guests. They are dressed nicely, but not in the same league as Super successful.

d) The new mummys - With young kids in tow, diaper bags in hand. Looking hassled. The ones that are new to town use their kids as a shield for their shyness, the ones who have been here awhile leave their kids running amok - afterall, they are amongst 'friends'.

e) The ethnic 'clusterers' - Grouped by ethnicity or country of origin. Little clusters of people from certain regions sequestered together, enjoying their own private conversation. You want to join, but then you know you will be intruding. God help you if you are from a small country, as the chances of you finding another from your country will be v.e.r.y. slim!

Do you have any other classifications? I'd be curious to find out!

So what does your husband do???

Ever been to one of those events where your only connection to the group is through your spouse but he is unable to attend and you still have to? You have to be on your best behavior because any wrong move could/might impact his career!

Clueless??? Let me explain.

As part of the GT Lifestyle, my husband's company has a very active spousal network and a lot of effort is made to get the spouses together. (primarily women but sometimes, some men turn up)

I usually prepare for these meetings in a specific way.

• hair - check
• nails - check
• clothes/shoes - check
• confidence - check
• wash my car until it is gleaming. (you never know who might see you on arrival or departure. Perception is reality.)
• I have to look my best. Heaven forbid, I arrive there looking shabby and shoddy. I singlehandedly could be pivotal to his next career move, you see! This is my contribution to our continued success! This is my role as his wife, his partner for life! ((you may puke now))
• ask my husband what he does.

This last point, is the reason for this post. It is my 2 minute elevator speech. This is where I introduce myself - not as myself (I do have a life of my own, but none of that counts in these settings, I find!), but as the spouse of 'xxx' who does 'blah, blah, blah!'.

I ask my husband this for each event and he looks at me oddly. He's probably thinking 'So, you still don't know what I do? Remind me again, how long have we been married??'

I need to know though, because the people I am going to meet will be judging me sizing me up based on his position in the company hierarchy. And you can tell those who immediately think you are not worth their time.

Fast forward to event, and I make my grand entrance. Every spouse looking more successful than the next. All impeccably dressed. All looking affluent.

They approach you because they are judging your book by the cover (you look good, you smell good, you walked in with confidence) and then the following conversation ensues.
Spouse 1 - 'Hi, I'm Carla, you are....'
'I'm GT' all of a sudden, I have gone all hoarse.
Spouse 1 - 'You are?'
Me - 'GT'
Spouse 1 - 'Nice to meet you. How long have you been in this town'
Me - 'We arrived 6 weeks ago'
Like vultures to some new prey, suddenly the crowd around you increases and the much anticipated question comes up.
'So, what does your husband do'
'Erm, he's .....' and I waffle through my well-rehearsed lines...

You can immediately tell who is listening and those who have given up on you. If you finish the description of your husband's job, and you've still got people around you - then you've scored a hit.

Most times, the people just start walking away....

I'll talk some more tomorrow about the clusters of women at such events (by ethnicity/country/lifestyle)

Thank you Lord

Trust...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding;  

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

What an anti-climax!

Well, it's back to the grindstone. The holidays are over and it's back to normalcy.
(Reports say people get very depressive right after big holidays like this, as the reality of life hits them again)

Hopefully, the New Year resolutions still remain fresh, to keep one motivated.

• Exercise more
• Eat better
• Be kinder
• Read more
• Pray more
• Spend more time with family
• Blah, blah, blah....and what ever else you had on your list...

Be happy! 2012 is here for the next 363 days!

January 2, 2012

"Any form of art is a form of power..." — Ossie Davis

Blogging is my art, but I'm still working on the power element! 

2012 - bring it on! 

It's here!

Happy New Year!